The aging process is a burden for us all, and it will catch up to us at some point. The “aging in place” idea is still alive and well but not too practical anymore. People are living longer and with more ailments than ever. They may require simple supervision or intensive twenty four hour care or, very often, somewhere in between. Sometimes people suffer a sudden catastrophic event like illness or injury, in which case no planning is possible. If you find yourself caring or preparing to care for an elderly parent, below are some practical guidelines to keep in mind.
Power of Attorney
The first thing you have to do, whether your parent is at home or in a hospital recovering from an event is complete a power of attorney form. You can download the forms online and try to do it yourself, or you can go directly to a lawyer and have them do it for you. Lawyers will even go to a hospital, home, or nursing home to complete the forms and notarize them. There are different power of attorney forms to use and also documents to specify what your parent wants or maybe, more importantly, doesn’t want to be done for them or to them. There are even lawyers that specialize in this area, usually referred to as elder care.
Taking Inventory
Assuming your parent is still at home, but leaning towards needing care, you should take an inventory of sorts to figure out what to do with their belongings, and that means everything from silverware to bank accounts. If they own property, it can get complicated in a hurry, and if you have siblings that can just add to the drama. Luckily aging is a process, and most people have time to prepare as long as they are on the lookout for signs of change. Sometimes the symptoms are subtle like paying rent two or three times in a month or something more extreme like forgetting where they live.
The problems that children face when dealing with an aging parent tend to play out over an extended time frame. At some point, they will have to go into a nursing home or assisted living facility. Some elder care companies provide independent living units like an apartment for those still able to care for themselves with minimal assistance. As your loved one declines, they can transition to assisted living and finally a nursing home, and they can do this without ever leaving the campus.
Reviewing Financials
Before calling a facility of any kind, evaluate your parent’s assets, income and insurance. You have to figure out what type of care they need and what they can afford. Some companies don’t accept government insurance. Even if your parents have enough money for expensive nursing or assisted living care, is that what they want? Do you or your parents want to drain their accounts of money they spent a lifetime saving? But in the end, many, if not most people reside in facilities that accept government insurance like Medicaid and Medicare.
The more assets and income your parents have, the trickier it gets. State Medicaid programs across the country make allowances for asset transfers to others and not just relatives. It’s essential to keep an eye on your parent’s bank accounts while they’re still at home, and the reasons are many. How much they have determines when they qualify for government assistance. People are allowed to gift money and assets to others and still qualify. On the other hand, if you do it wrong, they won’t qualify at all so this is a step in which you’ll want to carefully think about and consider bringing in professionals for guidance on.
Insurance
Insurance coverage is a whole other topic. Medicare pays for nursing home care in some instances. After that, Medicaid steps in if you and or your lawyer did the paperwork the right way. Does your parent have a Medicare supplement? If yes, do they have to pay for it? Will it pay for any nursing or assisted living care? You might have to cancel it. Does your parent need psychiatric care? Are they a danger to themselves? Do they have to stay in a secure facility with locks on the doors? These are all things you’ll need to carefully review and think about.
All facilities are subject to government oversight, which sounds good, but the reporting is only accurate at the day of inspection. Nursing homes and assisted living facilities experience ownership and staff changes regularly. The only way to make sure you pick the right one is to go there, look around and really speak to the staff.
We know this can be a stressful time in your family’s lives, but we hope our recommendations above help reduce some of the stress in the process. Most importantly, enjoy the time you have left with your loved one and know you will get through this difficult time.
